I hate being tired. My husband is frustrating me by telling me things that he knows will upset me, but feels that I need to be aware of a situation. I was having a good freaking day! Honestly. I was. I'm thoroughly annoyed, upset and furious, when I was having a serene day. How did I let this serenity pass from me? When these emotions interact with my being sleepy, makes it so much harder to fall asleep. I have to calm myself back down, which could take quite a while. I want to cry, but at the same time I don't which ends up giving me a severe headache that just makes me want to cry more. I have already lived through my personal hell!!! I don't need to see some one else live through their's. It hurts too much to bring all those feeling that I've settled back up again. I want to move forward. I don't want to dwell on those past emotions that bound me like a constricting cord.
I want my positivity back. Its what is keeping me sane. I like my sanity. Even if it is only my version of sanity, it and I get along quite nicely. I guess I will be working out in the morning along with the baking, church shoe shopping for Trev, taking Brie to school, cleaning, decluttering and rearranging of stuff tomorrow. I think I will be in a better mood again tomorrow and better able to deal with these emotions then. I just have to focus on "settle". Ignore or redirect the "pissed off". To make things clear, it is not my husband that has pissed me off, it is the situation that was brought to my attention. I had no idea to what extent it was. I'm just going to have to work harder at being positive in that aspect. I haven't seen negativity really help any one....EVER! So.....Time to take a bunch of deep cleansing breaths! Play some tetris, and hopefully become overly tired so that I can fall asleep.
1 comment:
Chocolate will occasionally help that as well. I hope things are looking up for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
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