I am starting to realize that this whole thing is becoming more and more like a journal that is visible to anyone and is some what censored. I'll take that for what it is, and at least be able to say that I am trying. If it means that I feel better about keeping some sort of personal history, it is better than nothing. Having said that I'll continue with the complete randomness that is this blog.
So....what my dear sweet husband got me for mothers day. First of all, knowing that we were going out of town, and realizing that I hadn't been wearing my wedding ring for fear of loosing any other diamond on it (see previous blog for details), had bought me reasonably priced dainty attractive ring before we left. He said he had another gift for me. My husband is horrible at keeping gifts a secret. From day one... Let me start by saying that after we went out to look at rings when we were dating, he dropped me off after me telling him which ones I would really like. He came back and said that he couldn't afford one, and then right there in my living room, after my mother had left the room, got down on one knee and proposed to me. Christmas are similar stories. He asks me every year if I want to know what he's getting me, and my answer always is, "I will wait!". So through out the whole trip in Nevada, he would randomly ask me if I wanted to know what my mothers day gift was. I kept telling him on threats of kicking out of said car, room, locations not to tell me till mothers day. He would laugh and bring it up again later. Apparently he is far more attentive than I give him credit for. I had noticed about a month ago that Paramore was coming to concert with No Doubt in May. Seeing the date I thought it was the day his sister was going to be induced for her 3rd baby. So I joked with him, that is was too bad, or I might try to win tickets to the concert off the radio station. Okay, so if you can't tell, I like Paramore, in fact he tried to find any of their CDs for me for Christmas, but every place he went was sold out. I have been living on my Twilight soundtrack he could find instead. So like a good husband he told me on Mothers day that he had gotten us tickets to their concert.
So now the panic sets in. I wonder how to go to a concert like this?!? I'm not that young and hip, I just like the music and think it would be cool to see them. In situations like these the shyness returns to the surface and I want to go into shut down. Given how sweet my husband has been, I don't think I can do that. So I will keep pushing off the thought and keep pushing through all the way till the day after the concert. I love my Paramour(meaning my husband not the band), and the thoughtfulness can't be passed up.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Missing my kids
It will be a short post tonight. Seeing that I flew in, white knuckle gripped to the arm rests of the plane early this evening, and work starts at nine, but my day starts at 6am and won't end till way after 9pm tomorrow.
I went to my Grandpas funeral this weekend and it was fun in good way. I miss my Grandpa terribly, but as I saw my many cousins that I have not seen in over a decade, I could see things he left in each and every one of us, whether its my bald cousins head or an expression on one of their faces or a kind word that one said to another. I had fun playing, "What's my name" with many of my cousins. They could all identify me as the youngest girl of my family, and my name started with a K. (which really wouldn't be that hard!) Only a few got it right, and most of those were around my age not older. Given I am the second youngest out of the Norma Grand kids. (My Grandma Carma has 3 kids, who have 6 kids now...) And to my fault, I did confuse my cousin Tom with my cousin Sam. I'm sorry but when they both smile really wide the smile looks the same, and I know their personalities are completely opposite, but both still very good men! After all this I did find out which one of them had been changing the radio station at our house when they came to visit while growing up. (Tom FYI) I saw so many kids from 1 to 16 that I had never seen that are indeed some how related. As I watched all the kids running around and playing, I missed my 3 little kids at home with the other set of grandparents. I even accidentally had something with nuts in it and even though it was one of the few times I can, when I'm not around my son, I could have it. I honestly would have rather given up the delicacy of a nut for having my son with me. So because of work I had to fly home today to work tomorrow, and I'm not an especially good flyer. The last time prior to flying to this I was flying home because I was in a car accident in California, and was still quite dizzy (had about the equilibrium of a drunk with out the fuzzy vision or lack or reality) from the accident when I did fly. So, not because of work, but because I wanted so badly to see my sweet 3 little faces, I held on for the hour flight to see them all sooner. Although I got some killer mother day gifts (post coming..) the best Mothers day gift I got was the 3 little sleeping angels in the other rooms.
I went to my Grandpas funeral this weekend and it was fun in good way. I miss my Grandpa terribly, but as I saw my many cousins that I have not seen in over a decade, I could see things he left in each and every one of us, whether its my bald cousins head or an expression on one of their faces or a kind word that one said to another. I had fun playing, "What's my name" with many of my cousins. They could all identify me as the youngest girl of my family, and my name started with a K. (which really wouldn't be that hard!) Only a few got it right, and most of those were around my age not older. Given I am the second youngest out of the Norma Grand kids. (My Grandma Carma has 3 kids, who have 6 kids now...) And to my fault, I did confuse my cousin Tom with my cousin Sam. I'm sorry but when they both smile really wide the smile looks the same, and I know their personalities are completely opposite, but both still very good men! After all this I did find out which one of them had been changing the radio station at our house when they came to visit while growing up. (Tom FYI) I saw so many kids from 1 to 16 that I had never seen that are indeed some how related. As I watched all the kids running around and playing, I missed my 3 little kids at home with the other set of grandparents. I even accidentally had something with nuts in it and even though it was one of the few times I can, when I'm not around my son, I could have it. I honestly would have rather given up the delicacy of a nut for having my son with me. So because of work I had to fly home today to work tomorrow, and I'm not an especially good flyer. The last time prior to flying to this I was flying home because I was in a car accident in California, and was still quite dizzy (had about the equilibrium of a drunk with out the fuzzy vision or lack or reality) from the accident when I did fly. So, not because of work, but because I wanted so badly to see my sweet 3 little faces, I held on for the hour flight to see them all sooner. Although I got some killer mother day gifts (post coming..) the best Mothers day gift I got was the 3 little sleeping angels in the other rooms.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Ed Carlson
I have finally had some sleep and have undevoted time (meaning kids are in bed, husbands getting a hair cut and its not completely dark outside yet.).
So to put it simply I will always love all of my grandparents. My Grandpa Carlson that just passed away is my last biological grandparent that was living. (I have to note here that his 1st wife, my biological grandmother passed away before I was born, and he remarried Carma, who will always be my Grandma Carma.) He was in his 90's you might want to check one of my sisters blogs for his exact age. He left so many fun memories. When I was really little, I didn't like his hugs, I felt like he hugged so tight I was going to crumble like a piece of paper your wadding up to throw in a trash can. As I got older his hug didn't lessen, but I understood that he wanted to make sure that we knew he loved us, even if it still did feel like my insides were gushing to my top or bottom from the hug.
The every day memories I have of him are of him reading the newspaper, sneaking me cookies from the cookie jar at his house, him wearing a beigish brown sweater and starting to fall asleep sitting in a recliner, and him eating corn nuts randomly out of his shirt pocket.
My sister Kim complained once that she was so short, and my Grandfather at 6 feet plus letting her know that our grandmother was that tall. I am the same height as Kim, and knowing that, its harder to complain about being short.
I remember him killing the fake spider on the wall at my house growing up that my siblings thought would be a funny joke.
So many good memories to remember him by that although he is gone I know he has left me with a lot. I know he has left all of his family with a lot of good memories to hold on too.
There is so many more stories to tell, but the only people they would mean alot to would be family, and I get to see them this weekend for his funeral.
So to put it simply I will always love all of my grandparents. My Grandpa Carlson that just passed away is my last biological grandparent that was living. (I have to note here that his 1st wife, my biological grandmother passed away before I was born, and he remarried Carma, who will always be my Grandma Carma.) He was in his 90's you might want to check one of my sisters blogs for his exact age. He left so many fun memories. When I was really little, I didn't like his hugs, I felt like he hugged so tight I was going to crumble like a piece of paper your wadding up to throw in a trash can. As I got older his hug didn't lessen, but I understood that he wanted to make sure that we knew he loved us, even if it still did feel like my insides were gushing to my top or bottom from the hug.
The every day memories I have of him are of him reading the newspaper, sneaking me cookies from the cookie jar at his house, him wearing a beigish brown sweater and starting to fall asleep sitting in a recliner, and him eating corn nuts randomly out of his shirt pocket.
My sister Kim complained once that she was so short, and my Grandfather at 6 feet plus letting her know that our grandmother was that tall. I am the same height as Kim, and knowing that, its harder to complain about being short.
I remember him killing the fake spider on the wall at my house growing up that my siblings thought would be a funny joke.
So many good memories to remember him by that although he is gone I know he has left me with a lot. I know he has left all of his family with a lot of good memories to hold on too.
There is so many more stories to tell, but the only people they would mean alot to would be family, and I get to see them this weekend for his funeral.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
No Stinkin' Thinkin'
Ok, so nothing really particular to blog about. No real point tonight. I haven't blogged in a while. Not that there hasn't been things I've wanted to post. There have been a lot of things I wanted to post. Funny or cute things about my kids (like my 3 year old after being sick giving me a hug and telling me she loves me then going to her dad, giving him a hug and then says "I love Mom!"), comment about society in general (like the mad dash of people running for face masks and hand sanitizer- there is a thing called soap...), major life events. So many things going through my mind that I would like to post but some how am not able to retain focus long enough to type it out. I have done a lot of crying in the past couple of months. I've done a lot of laughing. I've just plain been doing a lot the last couple of months. (as a side note I hate the saying "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" not that I don't believe it, I just think there is a better way to say it and to be encouraging.) So the main thing that I really want to take the time to blog about I can't really do right now. I want to blog about all my memories of my Grandfather that passed away this last Tuesday. I feel like I am in such a state of exhaustion from life in general I won't be able to justice to all I want to say. I want to be able to tell it with the care that it needs. So that blog will come another day. Probably after his funeral this coming weekend.
So not a real update on my life right now. Just a quick little blurb to say that I still plan on working on this blog. Just trying to get things done. I'm hanging in there ever so tiredly. I am being of as good of cheer and looking at life optimistically, taking things one day at a time. No "stinkin' thinkin' " happening, just exhaustion. :) FYI, thank you Krista for that saying! :)
So not a real update on my life right now. Just a quick little blurb to say that I still plan on working on this blog. Just trying to get things done. I'm hanging in there ever so tiredly. I am being of as good of cheer and looking at life optimistically, taking things one day at a time. No "stinkin' thinkin' " happening, just exhaustion. :) FYI, thank you Krista for that saying! :)
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